Because expressing feelings is obviously SO exhausting, why not outsource your emotional labor to a gloriously authentic greeting card? These marvels of modern convenience are here to rescue your overworked soul from the terrifyingly difficult task of sentimentality. Here's the unimpressive rundown:
• Material: 14.77 oz/yd² (350 g/m²) paperboard—because flimsy paper is for amateurs.
• Sizes: Oh, you have options, because why wouldn’t you?
- Small: 4″ × 6″ (101 × 152 mm) for those who prefer compact
mediocrity.
- Medium: 5″ × 7″ (127 × 178 mm) for the undecided masses.
- Large: 5.83″ × 8.27″ (148 × 210 mm) for those who need their
sentiments in boldface.
• Weight: Yep, it has one. You're welcome.
- Small: 0.39 oz (11 g)
- Medium: 0.6 oz (17 g)
- Large: 0.85 oz (24 g)
• Toner-based printing: Because what else would you expect, magic?
• Vibrant colors: Shockingly not dull.
• Complimentary envelope: Oh, be still your heart. A freebie to seal the deal.
Go on, make this groundbreaking investment in your ability to appear thoughtful. You're practically a hero for buying one.
